On the road to mending.....

Let's see.....when I last posted, I had what I considered a major breakthrough in my panic attack triggers. One would think the attacks would abate somewhat at that point, yes? Not so much. I had a kind of bad one and the next day made an appt to go back to Dr. K and talk some more. Apparently, I have issues.... lol..... I mean, it's not really funny, but then again...it kind of is. I can't just have one issue, I have to have a "set" of issues. Ugh. With all that's been going on with Bubby's IEP and Aspergers etc etc, I've been having hella issues with Lil Man. He throws a fit when I change his diaper, put his clothes on/off, brush his teeth ...... he will do any of those things for any(every)one else, except me. There were a few times that I thought to myself "sheesh....my little boy does NOT like me" .....and I let him run rough-shod over me by not really dealing with those issues as they happened. More often than not, I'd ask Randy to do it......and Lil Man would happily trot over to Daddy and do exactly what he *wouldn't* do for me. I really lost alot of my confidence in my parenting abilities.....a LOT. When we hit on this during the session, Dr. K told me I have got to reassert my authority as "mom" ..... and we talked about how I should do this. I just wanted to hit myself in the forehead...."DUH"......plain and simple, basic parenting things. Yes I know these things, but being so focused on the other issue, I totally lost things for a while.

I am happy to say that I am reasserting myself, and Lil Man *has* taken notice. The very first morning after my session w/ Dr. K, I went to change LM's diaper and get him dressed to go to the sitters and he started to rant and rave and kick and thrash......I loudly, and firmly, told him that "I *am* going to change your diaper, and get you dressed and if you don't stop this nonsense, you will sit in timeout". We've used timeout before a little, and that, along with my tone of voice stopped LM in his thrashing tracks....he looked at me like "Who are you? Where's mommy?" but, I did change his diaper and got him dressed and he did NOT have to sit in time out. And it's pretty much played that way since then too......the only exception being if he's really tired.....and that's understandable, I'm pretty damn cranky when I'm tired too.