Why does it have to be so difficult?

So.....what do you do when your spouse doesn't GET the issues that your oldest child, who happens to be an Aspie, has??? I mean, c'mon....seriously. I *know* that it's been difficult to deal with....I *know* that it's hard to understand....but, damnit, we HAVE to deal with it correctly or there's going to be bigger issues down the road.



We got Bubby a Nerf "protecter" for his Nintendo DS....much needed, especially since Lil Man likes to grab things from your hands and throw them....down the steps. Yeah. So, got the protector, put it on the DS and after spending about 10 minutes with it on, Bubby wants to know can he take it off....he doesn't like the way it feels on his hands. Duh. It didn't even occur to me (us) that he may have sensory issues with it.....he's particular about what he feels on his skin....and he doesn't like "rough" feeling stuff-no one does but what's "rough" for him isn't necessarily rough for someone without sensory issues. So, when he came to us and asked if he could take the DS out of the protector as long as he wasn't up and walking around because it "feels funny" ....well, I didn't really think it was a big deal. But nope, Randy had a fit over it. And when I told him that it's likely a sensory issue and we should give him time to adjust to it. He said he (Bubby) needs to keep the damn DS in the protector and just adjust. *scoffs* Because it's just easy peasy pudding pie for Bubby to "adjust", right? He still doesn't like to feel a shirt's cuff seam on his wrist.....but now, about 5 yrs later, at least he's not still tearing holes in the sleeves so he doesn't have to wear them anymore. Or, what about the seams on socks? It's pretty dang hard to find seamless socks let me tell ya, but I do it because it just bugs him so much. Any kind of ribbed or textured shirt? Not getting worn by Bubby....it's either "itchy" or just plain ole "I don't like how it feels Mooooommmm". So, am I going to force him to use the protector all the time? Heck no......as long as he's sitting down I don't see that he needs to keep it in the protector.....but if he's up and about? Yes, he'll need to have it on.

Last week we had a pretty special night..... Thursday night they had an awards presentation at Bubby's school for kids who scored "Proficient" or "Advanced" in Communication Arts and Math. He got medals and certificates for "Proficiency" in both subjects! We are soooo PROUD of him! He told us after the presentation that he wants to get "Advanced" next year and I was like "Wow! He's got some high goals for himself" .....which he promptly shot down when he finished his announcement with "because the Advanced medals have way cooler pictures on them Mom!" LOL......

In other school news......Bubby has completed most of his IEP goals. One or two of them he's having issues with, but, his speech therapist/case manager says that she expected it because the curriculm is getting more difficult. He's still got all A's and B's on his report card so I'm pleased.....but, am accepting right now that the IEP will have to be redrafted for his move to 5th grade this fall. Hopefully I'm better able and equipped to deal with all the meetings and such this time around.....last time I was a nervous wreck and had major panic attacks. However, we'll be dealing with the same people-with the exception of his teacher of course- so I expect that it will be somewhat easier on me.

Now I'm off to dig up info to share with Randy about sensory issues and Aspergers and ADHD.....wheeeee!!

Out of the mouths of babes.....

Bubby brought home a bunch of papers from school the other week and among them was a letter that he had written to Santa Claus back in December.... Keep in mind that he has Aspergers and Aspies tend to tell you exactly what they think/what's on their minds.....no social niceties here!

Dear Santa Claus:

I don't want anymore wars or crime sprees. Wars take people away. Crime steals, kills and multiplys (sic) each year. So, please stop wars! Stop crime!

It's for the army! It's for mugged people! Its for kids! It's for killed people! It's for missing/killed kids!

So, stop wars and crimes! Help the army! Help everyone! Help us kids and that's the reason.

Sincerely,

(Bubby's real name)

_________________________________________________________________

Kind of threw me for a loop when I read it the first time. I mean, we all know these things are going on.....but do we really know what our kids do/don't know about it all? I admit it....I didn't know he was *that* aware of what's going on in the world....it was Christmas time, I would have expected to hear about Pokemon and Transformers and the Warrior Clan books.....

I know that I'm going to be paying attention even more now.... With all the little things that Bubby stresses over, he doesn't need to take on the weight of the world right now too. Don't get me wrong....I'm proud of him that he wants these things to end (so do I and almost everyone else in the world) and that he thought of them over his favorite games/toys/books etc. But if these things are weighing on his mind, it's no wonder that the "little" things stress him out enough for him to pull out his eyelashes/eyebrows/hair. He's moved on to his hair now....has a little bald spot going right on the crown of his head. We took him in for a haircut over the weekend, so now that it's shorter the spot isn't as noticeable. He has fidgets to play with.....to keep his hands busy....even got him a new one this past weekend with the hope that it will help keep his fingers out of his hair/off his face....

Oh!!! Some good news where Lil Man is concerned! A while back I blogged about how Lil Man wasn't being cooperative at bathtime ......and about a week and a half ago, he did a complete turn around. TOTAL turnaround. You couldn't have shocked me more if you'd used a cattle prod....well, maybe....but you get what I mean right? When we got home from the sitters, I gave him a forewarning.... "Lil Man, we're going to take a bath tonight ok?" and he said "Ho-tay" ...I didn't take any notice of that...it hadn't meant "ok" regarding bath time in months, I didn't expect that it had changed. But....we'd been inside all of 5 minutes, I sat down to go thru the mail etc and all the sudden Lil Man slaps my knee and yelled "Mama! BAFF! NOW!" I about fell off my chair. Seriously. I looked at him and said "You *want* to take a bath?? Right now???" And he squealed "Yayyyyyy!!!!" I hopped to it let me tell ya.....if he wasn't pulling my leg, I was taking advantage of it! And, glory be! He wasn't pulling my leg! He joined me in the bathroom (instead of me having to chase his hiney down), started stripping off clothes, squealing and laughing the whole time. He got in the tub and started taking the washcloth, dunking it in the water and putting it on his head.....something that when I'd done it just a day or two before, he's screamed bloody murder over! I called the sitter and demanded.... "Who is this child??? And what have you done with my Lil Man???" They couldn't believe it either.....neither could daddy, who came into to investigate all the squeals and laughter. It's a dang miracle but, after almost a year of red-faced, scream-til-you-almost-puke, tantrums.....Lil Man is back to liking to be clean!!

Sweet!!!!