Bad blog owner! Bad!

Sheesh....so, yeah, it's been a while hasn't it? Well, I don't think I'm going to apologize....I mean, it happens to all of us..it's called life, yes? And, I'm thinking that with one reader....Hey Deb!! I'm betting you never noticed I was gone, did ya?? LOL..... We need to talk girl!

Anyhow, work has been super crazy - tons of new stuff to be entered in the computer.....and a good friend of mine that I worked with, found a new job. I still have friends here, but I sure miss talking to her LOL.

What else? Hmmm....oh, I am now taking Atenolol in addition to my Zoloft and Xanax but gee, I just wasn't taking enough drugs *rolls eyes* The Atenolol is supposed to help with the general anxiety symptoms I've been having.....heart palpitations, hand tremors, tightness in my chest.... We'll see, it's only been 3 days so far.


The holidays were good, the boys got spoiled rotten....got to see my brother who flew in from L.A. Spent time with Randy's family......

And something really incredible happened for me right before the holidays. About 6-7 yrs ago, I started a homeless ministry at the church we were attending. During that time, I met many homeless people...mostly men, but a few women. One of the women, Jackie, became very dear to my heart......she was a tiny, feisty, prideful Cajun from Louisiana.....she was about my mom's age and treated me just like a daughter....she called me "Baby girl" . For about 2-3 yrs, Randy and I ministered to her, helped when we could (or when she would let us, lol) , then one day she called me out of the blue. "Baby girl, I need you to come get me....I cain't do this no more, I need help" "Help" being drug rehab.....Jackie was so tiny because she basically lived on crack cocaine and alcohol. But, we were ecstatic that she wanted to get off the drugs, off the streets....and that she'd chosen us to help her. And we did...but she did all the work....drug withdrawals, rehab....the whole nine yards. After she'd completed the program, they helped her get an apartment in a "no-drug" building and a FT job. She worked her butt off......and not being on the drugs, she put on some much needed weight. She no longer looked like she'd blow away in the wind. She held her own for about a year or so when new management came into her job. She lost her job. In short order, she lost her job, her apartment.....and sold all her possessions (including the A/C unit) to buy crack. She was back on the streets....for about a month, I didn't hear from her, couldn't find her....I was really concerned. I'd found out about the job loss etc....and pretty much guessed the rest of it. She finally called me at work.....she was living with "some people" in a "house somewhere in the city" .....she was very out of it. The next time, she gave me a phone # to reach her, and that's how we stayed in contact. Until the fall of 2005. I found out I was preggers with Lil Man and wasn't having an easy time of it, and we found out that Papa Lou's leukemia had come out of remission.....and, after another round with chemo and radiation, there was nothing else the dr's could do. So, Feb of '06 I lost my father-in-law, and in March had Lil Man. Talk about the bitterness of sweet times. With everything going on, it wasn't until the summer of '06 that I realized I hadn't heard from Jackie in a long LONG time. I felt awful....I knew she'd understand, but I still felt awful. I dug out the # she'd given me ....and got told "bitch don't live here no more" and hung up on. Since that time, I've been searching and searching for her.....spending time downtown looking for her, online looking for clues.....called that # time and again, basically being told the same thing over and over....I broke down and called her family in Louisiana....there's "history" there and they hadn't seen/heard from her in longer than I had and it could stay that way "thankyouverymuch". What.ever. Assholes. So I kept searching.....and searching......

I'll finish this up tomorrow....hate to leave you hanging Deb, but work calls!!!